279 feels like such an arduous number. 279 of anything feels like a lot. If you told me I was going to sit down and write for two hours a week, every week, for 279 weeks in a row, I don’t think I would’ve believed it was possible. Regardless of my self-doubt, it turns out that my ability to keep showing up is pretty formidable.
The more I’ve come to terms with this ability, the more I’ve come to appreciate its value and perhaps understand that sometimes it doesn’t really matter if you're good at what you're showing up for or not, by simply showing up, you're doing it and that’s enough.
I feel like this about a few things in my life. Writing obviously and running. I’m not a natural runner but by choosing to get up and run a small amount each week, consistently, I’m now considered a runner. This was put to the test when a good friend, who could no longer participate in the 10km event at the Ballarat Marathon, asked if I’d like to take her place - two days before the event. It felt ‘on brand’ that this opportunity would present itself to me without any time to consider training or race prep. If I was to say yes, I would just have to wing it and do the best of my ability on the day.
Of course I said Yes because that's what I do. I got to run with another fabulous friend and the only way I was going to see if I could run 10km, was in fact, to run 10km. I’m glad that my short 5-7km runs were enough accidental training for me to push through for the full 10km - with my friend’s steady and constant monitoring of our pace we were even able to complete it in an hour and 3 minutes which is unbelievable really.
Even though I didn’t know I was going to run in the 10km race, being able to wing it proves how important just showing up is. Like this blog, it's the small, repeated, consistent reps we do that builds strength. It's easy to forget that sometimes. We get caught in the trap that if we’re not pushing ourselves to the extreme every time, then we aren’t improving, and if we’re not improving then why bother in the first place. It goes without saying that If I’d known I was going to race, I could’ve done more targeted running practice and with training we could’ve run the 10km in under an hour easy. That's now our goal for next year.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter if we’re prepared or not. You’re either going to do it or not. Worst case in the weekend is I ended up walking the 10km with my friend which is a lovely thing to do anyway so there really wasn’t a negative outcome… unless of course I injured myself which was quite a high possibility! Luckily I didn’t and the whole experience was awesome. That's not to say it was easy - Thank god my friend was there, her pacing and high fives were what kept me going. Lake Wendouree is ginormous when you hit kilometre 6-7-8.
Another thing I really loved was the cheering crowd. Talk about a great motivator! If only you always had thousands of people cheering as you approach the finish line! I think the last kilometre was our quickest because we got so distracted and caught up in the vibe of it all. It was super exciting and exactly what we needed to bring us to the finish line!
279 weeks ago, running 10km in an hour would’ve been an unimaginable achievement. 279 weeks ago I didn’t run at all. I was still under the impression that I ‘can’t run’ which is what I believed to be true at the time. I wasn’t too far off realising that I was the only barrier I had to running and all I needed to do was start, so I did. I chucked on my New Balance 574 (which was the closest thing I had to a running shoe at the time), a pair of shorts and an old T’shirt which happened to be my PJ’s and ran around the block. The next day I had a break and the following day I did it again and I haven't really stopped.
I have plateaued and been comfortable around the 5-7km for a long time now so maybe this win in the 10km will get me motivated to step it up a bit - or not. What I do know is that showing up, time after time, even when we don’t think we’re doing our best, is still worth it. 279 weeks ago I would never have dreamed of publicly sharing a word of writing. Today I’ve shared (or overshared) close to 250,000. Start with one and just keep showing up.
